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Discipline

A word with many different connotations and feelings to it: discipline. Path 1. Have a vision, make it a goal that I want to reach. Come up with a plan, a schedule. Go for it. Every day work on it. Hours. Train. Work. Review. Reflect. Train harder. Work more. Reach your goal. Check. – Exhaustion!!! And not much fun. Many people, and a part of me still, is convinced that this is how you have to go on in order to accomplish something and actually get credit for it. Suggestion: Path 2. Have a vision, imagine how it FEELS like to be there. Be aware of it. Look around you. Make space for that vision. Even come up with a percentage of how much of your energy you want to put in it. Make more room for that vision. Work on it. Dedicate time […]

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GER-SPAN-GLISH

Saturday night I was invited for dinner near the German speaking city of Vienna with my Spanish-speaking boyfriend – together we use both languages. My friends, the couple who invited us, are from Australia/England/Austria, we are used to speaking English together. So there I am, switching between those three languages, which – don’t get me wrong – I am actually proud of being able to do. I cannot remember any specific example at the moment, but you get the picture. I actually find it funny, when that happens, and I feel how different parts of my brain are trying to communicate with one other. I am not, however, a fan of substituting many words in our German language with English words. Examples (for the German speakers): „wir müssen uns connecten / wir müssen networken“, „es ist echt heavy“, „da bekommst du echte troubles“, „heute bin ich […]

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Labels vs. Uniqueness

I went to a very posh school in my city, quite conservative, but in my teenage years I started to be more rebellious. I felt I was different than the others, that I had something to say and stand up for, but I didn’t know what it was yet. Two years ago I finally finished my first feature documentary film WITHIN THE FLOW OF LIFE (original German title: IM FLUSS DES LEBENS). Sending the film to an undefined number of festivals I always found myself confronted with the same dilemma: what category does the film fit in? In the end: I settled with „ecological“ most of the times, even though it’s about human rights, nature as a whole, the economy, religion, politics, and the base of it all is spirituality. You could call it ethics as well, but this is exactly where everyone has a […]

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Women traveling solo

In two weeks it will have been one year that I hopped on the train at six in the morning. I left the quiet village I was living in to go to Portugal and embark on a sailing boat from there, in which I would cross the Atlantic ocean and end up in Brasil. From there, I hadn’t made any plans. Beginning of 2014 I crossed the border between Brazil and Peru and spend most of my time in the region of Puerto Maldonado in the rainforest and later in and around Cuzco. I had decided to do this by myself. I wanted to venture forth listening to my inner voice and only being responsible for myself. Let the journey take me where I had to be. When do it but at that moment, being in my early 30ies, without children, apartment, house, car…?!?!?! […]

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Breathing at the wall

A saying goes: „strengthen your strengths“, the idea behind that being that if you get better at what you are already good at, other areas will profit from it as well. It’s like within a team, where the whole team profits from one member being really good at something that might not come natural to others. So, usually I will spend my day working on the things I enjoy the most, celebrate getting better at things and take up small challenges feeling confident about my more obvious talents. There are shitty days as well, however. So what do I do, if nothing seems to work? If whatever I start feels less than average and doesn’t get me anywhere? Normally, on days like that, if I continue wanting to make just something work, that shitty feeling will start to affect all areas: job, relationship, friends, […]

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On pausing while going for my vision

Do you have those days as well? You get up in the morning and don’t really know where to start. Nothing feels important to do, it’s like it doesn’t matter anyway, because there is no obvious need to act. It might be stronger in my case: being a freelance many-things. There are long-term goals in my life, a vision I have been following and slowly taking one step after the other. Sometimes, however, I don’t know what the next stop should be. Or I feel like I don’t actually have to take a step today. On a Sunday, that is absolutely alright, but on a Monday morning like today, in our work-oriented society I don’t really allow myself to pause. Especially at the moment, where I am going for a big project and there is actually a whole lot to do. This is when […]

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Feeling whole in the City

Four years I lived in the Austrian country side. Twice I spent more than half a year in Latin America during that time. Last June I moved back to Vienna, the city where I grew up. Never have I felt that happy here, at peace, and at the same time appreciating what the city has to offer. For me, it’s where I feel I need to be right now. For how long? No idea, but at the moment, it’s my base. One thing I learned while living in the country side was being alone. Being alone without necessarily feeling lonely. I admit that this can still be quite a challenge sometimes… The city makes it easy to get distracted. There is always something to do, someone to meet, but is this really always that fulfilling? I choose to spend a lot of time outside […]

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Mirror

Puerto Maldonado, May 1st, 2014 A few weeks ago my mother told me she didn’t understand what I was looking for on this trip. When I left home last year in November I didn’t feel like I had to look for anything, but rather that I already felt gifted enough. Still I wanted to undertake this adventure to let myself be led by intuition to get to places and people in Latin America that I can learn from. I wanted to meet people that live their lives strongly connected to nature and remember their roots. What I find startles me. I don’t want to close my eyes, but rather want to learn. What I learn I didn’t expect. It shows me parts of this world, of people and myself that aren’t always pleasant. After six weeks in Puerto Maldonado I finally go to Cusco […]

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